THE CHRONICOLES #12: GET TO KNOW ME

28 beautifullll times around the planet, fam! 🌎

my birthday just passed (#geminiseason) & it's the first year I feel my age. 

until recently, I felt like I was stuck at 25-years old—the sweet age of "old enough to know better, young enough to not care." now, my responsibilities have substance, my job is equally challenging as it is fulfilling, my idea of fun has changed drastically & my days just feel more accomplished. to top it off? hearing the word "adulting" actually makes me cringe.

it's a new year for goals, memories, accomplishments...ya know, the usual cliché birthday BS. it's also the best time to reflect on the last year, or the last 28 for that matter. THE CHRONICOLES is the perfect spot for me to share some shtuff about me that you may not have previously known, so!

THE CHRONICLES #11: STAYING PRESENT + 5 TIPS ON HOW TO DO IT

when I was a little girl & things changed in my life, I freaked so much I'd break out in hives.

the "unknown" & not being able to control it stilllll gives me the most anxiety.
but, luckily now that I'm older, I can kindly tell anxiety to go f%ck itself!
(most of the time.)

moments of weakness are inevitable, and that's where I've found myself lately: on edge, sweaty palms, uneasy stomach, wondering wtf is going to happen next in life.

some seriously trying obstacles have been placed in not only my way, but in the way of my relationships too, and it's inspired me to make some life changes. & tbh, the gemini in me is ready to shake shit up.

THE CHRONICOLES #10: GETTIN' REAL

it's kind of ironic the last #CHRONICOLES I wrote about focused on "taking time" 

because it's exactly what I've been doing these last few weeks.

november thru january is tough for me, and I'm hopeful it'll get easier every year and eventually, won't just result in me completely disconnecting. the holidays are hardly enjoyable after the unexpected loss of your father, regardless how long it's been. (two years for me.) in addition, it's also the anniversary of his passing. (also, two years.) 

sry for that heaviness...but coming back to NICOLE LEIGH, I want to be as real as possible. the whole "influencer" thing can become toxic. the faćades, the editing, the likes. even though I'm the micro-est of microinfluencers, there's super frustrating moments like understanding new algorithm's, finding strategies that will help me become a microinfluencer, and not to mention, the negative stigma around blogging that so easily gets into your head. sometimes, I couldn't imagine what it takes to deal w/ the stereotyping from a 100k+, 500+, 1mill+ following.

it's no surprise an internet-based industry would run into incredible judgement though; we learned yearsssss ago how easy it is to bully behind a computer screen. now everyone's just doing it behind their smartphone screens. like our parents taught us back then: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't fcking say it. k? ✨

THE CHRONICOLES #9: TAKING TIME FOR YOURSELF + 5 WAYS TO DO IT

a few weeks ago, I was having a conversation w/ one of my closest gfs about our wknd mornings. she made a comment about how most saturdays, she purposely wakes up earlier so that she can have 'time for herself.'

this made me realize as of late, I never take time for myself.

& I wonder why I'm on the brink of the anxiety attack of all anxiety attacks. 

THE CHRONICOLES #8: THINGS TO CHEERS TO!

sry starts off a little drearily but until recently, it was hard for me "cheers" much of anything. due to the darkest cards life dealt me, most days, despite how exciting they were, there was this constant weight on my chest—a heaviness that prevented me from feeling anything thrilling, making it v easy to feel like I was drowning.

after taking time to grow not only mentally but physically, I feel like I'm starting to overcome obstacles I've been needing to, and as a result, the desire to hold my hand high, sparkling drink in it, and toast everything around me is creeping back in.

it's funny what a mindset can do to a person. 

for the longest time, I told myself I didn't deserve happiness, that I was destined to feel dull forever, but that was the craziest lie I could've ever told myself. I soon realized it was just my brain playing tricks on me.

I learned that ultimately, you are the only person responsible for how you feel. not your sibling, your parent, grandparent, best friend, SO. & sometimes, I think we all need a reminder to stop & take time to turn to ourselves before turning to others...a sticky note of sorts that tells us: dig deep, figure out what you need to do, then muster up the energy to actually do it.

don't forget, you can lean on those around you though - just make sure you can celebrate w/ them once you realize that whether or not you have it "all," you still have a whole lot to be thankful for.

& here's to post-brunch sunday thoughts ✨

x, nicole

THE CHRONICOLES #7: NEW APARTMENT + NEW PATH

a little over a year ago, I wrote my first post about my city...& here I sit, still talking about it, just in a different apartment.

I've always known 'a lot can happen over a year,' but holy sh!t did I learn the true meaning behind that these last 365+ days. for ex: when I came to jersey city, I was just recovering from reconstructive knee surgery & was going to physical therapy 2-3x a week, re-learning how to walk, run, bike, jump—fast forward to now: this view is a 1.5mis from my new apartment, and I ran there & back.

the hardships I experienced over the last two years encouraged me to make the moves I kept talking about but wouldn't actually make. a lethal combination of heartache, anger, stubbornness & pride pushed me to fulfill the dreams I always had.

while the circumstances were incredibly far from the best, I've never been more thankful to walk away & start new. since then, my boyf & I moved in together, I'm v confident where I am professionally, and I'm making memories w/ some of the most genuine people I've ever met and most importantly...

I've learned more about myself & my uncanny ability to keep going, keep moving despite all the bullsh!t put in my path. letting go and moving on is not only eye-opening, it's testing, liberating and kind of addicting.

I hope one day, when or if you need to, you'll be able to walk (or run) away from w/e it is that's holding you back. 

x, nicole

THE CHRONICOLES #6: MY ♥ FOR MANHATTAN

I've had an obsession w/ manhattan ever since my grandmother took me as a child to see a christmas carol on broadway. so much so, that for my 9th birthday, I begged for a black & white portrait of the nyc skyline that I saw out front a local art shop in my hometown—naturally, I got it 💁 and now as an adult, I'm beyond grateful I asked for it when I did because the shot features the twin towers rightttt in the middle.

my jersey city apt is 15mins away from downtown nyc, so I'm constantly finding excuses to eat at new restaurants and try different cuisines, see art installments & smell fresh blooms at botannical gardens, or even just as expected, shop my way through various boroughs.  

since thursday, I've walked close to 20mi throughout the meatpacking district, LES, DUMBO, williamsburg & the bronx. 

throughout alllll of that exploring, learning & obs sweating, all I could keep thinking about was how I finally have everything I've been working towards these last few years. & it's all thanks to the energetic hustle & bustle of manhattan's streets that test my patience, challenge me & then bring me back to life. 

I know some people chase waterfalls and waves to feel calm, but me, I'd rather get lost on buzzing aves for peace any day. w/e the vibe is that makes you feel most calm, use it however you have to because it's easy getting caught up in the day to day, preventing us from taking a second to:

stop, refelect + recharge.

what important things to forget to do.